Jan. 25th, 2017

moonflower77: (Default)
the other evening, i had an interesting discussion with a friend about azila's potential for being perceived as a far more tragic character, because she cannot retain more than a small portion of the individuality she has gained and must go back - into primordial serenity, dissolution and oblivion, or what one might be tempted to see as such. many would regard this as a form of psychological death. if she doesn't return for reassimilation, she will die in the full, direct, physical sense. 
in a sense, she reminds me of a character from s. lukyanenko's "daywatch", referred to as "the mirror", who was registered in ukraine under the name of vitalij rogoza but was, in fact, created out of nowhere (or, to be more exact, out of "the twilight", the mystical parallel dimension where most of the action takes place) for the sole purpose of aiding the dark forces, who were at a disadvantage, and thus restoring the balance between the dark and light forces. once this was achieved he was promptly de-materialized again and returned to "the twilight", which, in that universe, meant complete obliteration. to use his own words, he wasn't given a destiny, a chance to choose his own fate.  
in other words - manufactured, used and discarded like an out-of-date instrument. an object. 

the situation with azila is better in that she hasn't been manipulated in the same manner by the powers-that-be. she had a choice twice - when she was on the brink of death and was offered a second chance as a member of the t'elx collective, and when she began to succumb to the neurological degeneration, and both times she made it on her own.

but, like "the mirror", she is only here for a short while. she cannot stay. she is a breath of wind in one's face, a soft whisper, a ripple on the surface of a pond. one moment, she is here - in three brief years, she is gone again. when she was given the chance to start over, she left her old life behind; she continued as an entirely different creature whose internal existential state is near-incomprehensible to ourselves, and wasn't supposed to ever come back to our world. in a very genuine sense, she did die. she was separated by accident, and the fact that she survived was nothing short of a miracle, as the post-separation syndrome should have killed her in a matter of three to four weeks. after this, the time she could linger in human society before she had to be reabsorbed into the superorganism was measured in weeks, if not days. as it was, she eventually managed to extend her stay in our world by almost three years - a record by all accounts.

in the three years that she interacted with humans and ihr, she began to develop a personality more recognizable to most of us, but, just as it started to solidify into a more definite shape, the neurological degradation resumed and she had to revert to being a drone to stop the process.
this is not our position as the authors, or her own. she doesn't want or need the individuality, not in the extreme form we think of as natural and take for granted, no longer understands its merits, and certainly has no fear of melting back into the collective consciousness - to her, this means coming home. her entire being had ached for that moment ever since she was severed; she grieved over the loss of her home while she was held captive and longed for it later, after she decided not to return, and this was killing her as much as the degenerative neurological disorder. the one concern she had was that she might be unable to stay in touch with her memories upon re-assimilation, and that she may lose her newly rediscovered human perspective and the ability to communicate with humans as an individual, all of which she was able to retain after the second, partial assimilation; nothing beyond this mattered to her.

that said, i could see that point of view being adopted by some or perhaps most of the readers.


moonflower77: (Default)

September 2017

34 56789

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 01:45 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios